Movies: Never Goin’ Back, Slender Man, McQueen

Never Goin’ Back

To where?  The beach… too late, you can’t afford it.  School?  Na, you already dropped out.  To work?  Nope, you burned that bridge.  Home?  You have no money, can’t pay the rent.  You live with dead beats with no education, skills or money.  Looks like this film is doomed in the first 5 minutes…

OK maybe a bit harsh but these two girls are annoying from the get go.  They are selfish, delusional, self consumed, but…they are funny together.  The chemistry between them is excellent.  Think of the TV show Two Broke Girls but younger and unrealistic.

It is outrageous, funny, dumb and implausible.  That said, there is something redeeming about the two girl’s overcoming the odds no matter what.

The acting is pretty good.  Austrailian actress Maia Mitchell is excellent as the leading Angela.  Actress and model Camila Morrone is the side kick friend.  The brother is played by Matthew Holcomb, his roommate is played by Kyle Mooney.  All the boys are dumb as stumps.

To top it off, it is rated R for crude sexual content, language throughout, drug use and brief nudity involving all teens.  It’s listed as a comedy and runs 83 minutes.  Save your money and time.  (OR if you have preteens, strap them to a chair and force them to watch this continuously until they swear on their souls they will never behave like this.  Just a suggestion.)

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Slender Man

The good news is you won’t see much of Slender Man on the screen.  He is most illusive.  He’s a tall faceless guy with multiple arms that are sometime tentacles.  He seems to abduct children or “infect” them from afar.

In the current rendition he seems to like teenage girls.  Slender Man seems to know when his young victims are online where he can track them.  The kids learn that seeking or watching Slender Man online actually summons the creature.  The youngsters compare notes, draw pictures, save recorded images and generally freak themselves out on a regular basis.

The cast is a band of talented young actors and a few adult professionals.  There are six teenage girls, a few boys, a few adult males and Javier Bolet as Slender Man. (Who knew he had a face?!)

In researching this film, we were NOT surprised to see some of the lowest scores ever!  9% favorable on Rotten Tomatoes, 2.9 out of 10 on IMDb, and 29% on Metacritic.

Again, save your time and money.  It’s pretty boring, the acting is well below average, the creepy factor doesn’t work and isn’t even cringe worthy.

It is rated PG-13 for disturbing images and sequences of terror, thematic elements and language.  It is listed as a horror movie (but there is not much there).  It runs 93 minutes.

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McQueen

The winner of this blog must be McQueen.  It is a Documentary on the life and career of Alexander McQueen, the British fashion designer whose 18 year career is noted for its artistry and creativity ranging from “Bonkers” to “Genius”.

His body of work has often been characterized as sculptural, shocking and impeccable.  It’s also a personal look at the person, his family and his demons.

His story is incredible, insightful and tragic.  Reviews have been exceptional and audiences very favorable.  It is a stunning display of his work, career and personal history.

The genre is noted as a Documentary.  The film is not rated.  It runs 111 minutes.  It is stunning and heartbreaking at the same time.

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